Toward Wisdom, Stature, and Favor: Part Two

The twelve-year-old Jesus of Nazareth was on his own in the great city of Jerusalem, without his immediate or extended family or even friends. For more than three days, he had choices to make about where he would go, what he would do, and with whom he would spend his time. Luke’s gospel account tells us that when his parents returned to Jerusalem looking for him, they found the young Lord Jesus “in the temple courts, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions.”
In the Temple Courts

The strong feelings that Jesus had for his Heavenly Father’s house are well documented in three of the gospels (Matthew, Mark, and John), where he boldly casts the merchants and money-changers out of the Temple. It appears that this took place twice – once at the beginning of his public ministry and once at the commencement of the week of his passion. The Apostle John records that at the first temple incident his disciples were reminded of the messianic Scripture reference in Psalm 69:9, “Zeal for your house will consume me.” But here in the Gospel of Luke we are provided with insight into Christ’s zeal for the courts of the Lord when he was yet just a boy.

Though he was God in the flesh, the Creator of all things, and one day to be Judge of all the earth, Jesus had “made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness” (Philippians 2:7). He was subject to the human developmental process, to temptation, even to death. He had choices to make, and he had to contend with the confliction of his human will with his will as God (see Matthew 26:39). Alone in Jerusalem as a twelve-year-old boy, Jesus was faced with decisions which perhaps prompted a similar wrestling of wills within him. What he chose was to be “in the temple courts.” What he chose was to identify with the community of faith, the community of God’s people.

Identification, or identity, is a familiar term in the lexicon of developmental psychology concerning young people, particularly during puberty. To the developmentalist, identity formation is the key issue of “adolescence.” Developmental psychology does not articulate a perspective on identity formation that is consistent with God’s Word. It is nonetheless true that God has designed us in such a way that we are particularly impressionable during childhood and youth, and that associations we make and identifications we embrace can powerfully shape our character. What then are the major influences on the identity formation of our youth? What are the key associations that our young people seek out for themselves? With what and whom do our children most identify, and in what ways do they choose to identify themselves?

It is not the purpose of this article to assert an authoritative answer to questions such as these, though the questions themselves are well worth asking, and for some, will be cause for consternation. The purpose of this article is, however, to highlight the character and behavior of the young Lord Jesus as the example for Christian parents seeking to train their children in the way they should go and for young people in whom God’s Spirit is at work conforming them to the likeness of His Son.

Many have misunderstood the gospel account of the youthful Lord’s lingering in the Temple, thinking it reveals that he was there teaching. They are mistaken. However, Jesus’ actions those days in the Temple can be very instructive to us. Jesus, as a twelve-year-old, chose to be “in the temple courts.” He sought to associate with the people of God. He put himself under the teaching of the Holy Scriptures. He submitted to the authority, wisdom, and spiritual leadership of the “teachers.” With his actions, Jesus identified with the community of faith; with his words – “I must be about my Father’s business” – he identified with the Person and purpose of God. This is the pattern for Christ-likeness for a young person. If he has the Spirit of Christ in him, a young person has not only the pattern, but also the power for Christ-likeness. If, by God’s grace and God’s initiative, he has been identified with Christ in death and resurrection, the Father’s continuing work in a young person is to cause him to identify with Christ in character.

As we shepherd the growth process of our children from childhood to adulthood, are we seeing them identify with and develop the character of Christ or the character of the youth culture? Are they choosing to identify with the community of faith as a whole or simply within the context of their peer group? Are we doing more in our churches for our young people than merely reinforcing the peer culture as the primary influence in their identity formation? Are they learning what it means to be a part of the Body of Christ or merely a youthful appendage disconnected from the whole? Can we say of our young people that they truly and deeply desire to be “in the (Temple) courts” of the Lord, as did their Lord Jesus, or do they just want courts of the Lord that they can “relate to”?

Sitting Among the Teachers

There is a dramatic difference between the description of Jesus in the Luke 2 account and the warning the Apostle Paul addresses to Timothy in 2 Timothy 4:3, 4. In Luke 2 we are told that Jesus was “sitting among the teachers.” In his second letter to Timothy, Paul cautions, “… to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear.” Which of these better describes the youth of our culture, even in the churches?

The clear implication of Jesus’ actions is that he sought out the teachers. He went to where he could find them. He put himself in a position to learn from them. Although Jesus was certainly not like every other Jewish boy in that he was fully God and fully man, and though he was perhaps exceptional in his pursuit of spiritual knowledge, Jesus was not out of the ordinary in “sitting among the teachers.” It was part of the Jewish culture for boys, even as young as Jesus was, to participate in the lectures and discussions led by the rabbis in the Temple courts. In the famous Broadway musical, Fiddler on the Roof, the main character sings a humorous song titled, “If I Were a Rich Man.” There is one verse of the song that is not intended to be funny, but rather wistfully expresses the spiritual heart longings of a man who must constantly labor to provide for the needs of his impoverished family. Tevya sings,

If I were rich, I’d have the time that I like to sit in the synagogue and pray,
And maybe have a seat by the eastern wall.
And I’d discuss the holy Books with the learned men seven hours every day.
That would be the sweetest thing of all.


The Jewish people – even in early twentieth century Russia – maintained a cultural context in which men came together to hear and discuss the Scriptures; the kind of context in which men, old and young, were a part of one people of faith seeking deep, spiritual insight. It was in this kind of context that the young Lord Jesus found himself “sitting among the teachers.”

The young person who would be like Jesus should seek to do as Jesus did. He should have the desire to sit under the teaching of the Word of God, to learn God’s Word and God’s ways, to discuss them and understand them. As a member of the Body of Christ, he should recognize that Christ “gave some to be …apostles …prophets …evangelists …and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God’s people for works of service, so that the Body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature…” He should value the insights and authority of these spiritual leaders, and he should seek them out, go to where they can be found, put himself in a position to learn from them as Jesus did.

What “teachers” are our young people seeking out for themselves? Where are they going and to what lengths do they go to hear from their “teachers”? In the Church, have we provided an inter-generational context in which young people are encouraged to put themselves in a position to learn from spiritual elders, or have we embraced a youth-focused, peer-oriented model where young people “to suit their own desires …will gather around them … teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear”?

Listening to Them

There is a natural progression to Luke’s account of the activities of the twelve-year-old Jesus. We read that he was “in the temple courts, sitting among the teachers, listening to them…” Having gone to the place where spiritual insight was pursued and seated himself among those from whom he could learn, it was logical for the boy Jesus to listen to those in spiritual authority. He did this, as he later explained to his parents, because he had to be “about (his) Father’s business.” In other words, it was to suit his heavenly Father’s desires. This, of course, pre-figures his later expression of this very motive, “not as I will, but as You will” (Matthew 26:39).

Again we see the clear contrast between the character of the Lord Jesus and the prophetic warning from Paul to Timothy previously referenced: “For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths.” Here is a picture of those who begin with their own self-centered desires. Instead of seeking wisdom through the God-appointed sources of spiritual authority, the only “teachers” they will permit are those who will tell them only what they want to hear. This leads them to an aversion to hearing the truth.

There is extremely important teaching in the Scriptures about hearing. The Apostle Paul tells us that “faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ.” Jesus himself spoke about hearing significantly. The famous Parable of the Sower speaks very little about the sower. Likewise, the focus does not seem to be the seed. The parable reveals most about the soil, and Jesus’ explanation of the parable points to his purpose in contrasting responses to the Word of God. Jesus punctuates the telling of this parable with the words, “He who has ears, let him hear” (Matthew 13:9). He continues by pronouncing blessing on the ears of those who hear (Matthew 13:16). In his explanatory description of each of the various soils in which the seed is sown, Jesus speaks of the hearing of the message of the Kingdom, the Word of God (Matthew 13:18 – 23). The Gospel of John records these words of Jesus: “I tell you the truth, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life and will not be condemned; he has crossed over from death to life. I tell you the truth, a time is coming and has now come when the dead will hear the voice of the Son of God and those who hear will live.” Both the Parable of the Sower and this teaching of Jesus speak about the importance of hearing in the conversion of the “dead” to life. Yet another message from the Lord conveys the importance of hearing in the repentance of a believer and his restoration to right fellowship with Christ: “Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest, and repent. Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me” (Revelation 3:19, 20).

While it is by God’s grace alone that anyone is saved much less hears and understands the Gospel, in light of the verses we have just examined, one cannot help but ask, “What kind of a listener am I?”

In Ephesians 6:1, we are instructed, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord for this is right.” Interestingly, the Greek word here translated obey, more literally means “to listen, to attend” (pay attention to). Not coincidentally, the Hebrew word most often translated obey also means “to hear.” Without more extensive exegesis, it is reasonable to say simply that hearing/listening is a key factor in the learning and practice of obedience. The young Jesus purposed to listen to the teachers in the Temple. He listened to the Old Testament Scriptures and learned them. He listened to his heavenly Father and perfectly obeyed, even to the point of death. This Christ-like listening, that is the substance of early obedience and leads to a more mature obedience, should be a characteristic of the young person who has received the Spirit of Christ and is desirous of following the Lord Jesus.

Asking Them Questions

Along with listening to the teachers in the Temple courts, Luke tells us that Jesus was “asking them questions.” It may be presumed that he sometimes wanted them to clarify what they were saying or wanted to be sure that he had understood them correctly. Perhaps he was occasionally asking them about something he did not know or did not yet understand. Maybe there were times when he was appealing to them to re-evaluate a point that he did not feel was expressed correctly. Certainly, he was asking them questions because, developmentally, he was yet only a twelve-year-old boy and wanted to learn and grow in his knowledge and understanding of the Word of God and the ways of God.

The Scriptures are filled with exhortations to seek the knowledge of God. The Book of Proverbs, in particular, instructs the young person to pursue wisdom and to pursue it through attentiveness and obedience to the instruction of parents and teachers. This is the pattern for learning ordained of God and clearly expressed in his Word and ideally exemplified at a key time of impressionable development in the life of our Lord. Surely Jesus, as an older teen and young adult, had a lot of insight and knowledge and would have been a good communicator of the truths and character of God. But, it must be noted, he did not begin his teaching ministry until he was thirty years of age. So revered was the role of teacher among God’s people that it was not until he had reached adult maturity that a man would be respected as a teacher (at thirty years, one is fit for authority and at forty, for discernment – according to the Mishnah). According to Alfred Edersheim in Sketches of Jewish Social Life, experience was always considered a better qualification than “mere acquirements” of academic knowledge. The young Jesus understood and followed the course that God had ordained for the spiritual instruction of young people. He asked questions in the right place, at the right time, and he asked them to the correct spiritual authorities.

There is a great difference between asking questions and questioning. We live in a culture and time in which young people have learned to question rather than to ask questions. With regard to government, parents, teachers, employers, elders, ministers, religious doctrine, social mores, spiritual morality, police, sports officials/referees, etc., American (and Western) young people value the liberty to call authority into question above the pursuit of wisdom. Rather than seeking out age and experience as God-given sources of wisdom, they are dismissed as not to be trusted, out-of-touch, irrelevant. The education of youth is pursued in an environment where the greatest influence is the peer group, and so in a way, young people are taught to diminish teachers and elevate the youth culture. Even youth ministry is often designed so to “relate” to the youth culture that it fails to draw young people to an inquiry into things beyond themselves.

Not so the culture in which Jesus was raised, and not so the character of the One of whom it is written: “And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men.”

The study of this passage will continue in the next e-pistle entry.

Towards Wisdom, Stature, and Favor

Chapter two of The Gospel According to Luke records the story of the twelve-year-old Jesus in the Temple at Jerusalem. It is a familiar and beloved account because it is the only Biblical glimpse we have into the youth of our Lord. Yet, in spite of its familiarity, there is often a great deal of misunderstanding about this episode in the life of Jesus. Asked what Jesus was doing in the temple at twelve years of age, many will respond that he was teaching. In fact, the activities in which Jesus was engaged that day did not include teaching. However, what Jesus did do is very instructive.

We are told that it was Mary and Joseph’s yearly practice to travel to Jerusalem for the Feast of Passover, and that they made the journey again when Jesus was twelve-years-old. On their return to Nazareth, his parents did not think it was odd that Jesus was not with them. He was no longer a child over whom they needed to keep a constant watch. Reasoning that he was with friends and relatives in their caravan, they began to look for him, and when they could not find him, Jesus’ parents returned to Jerusalem.

After three days of searching, we are told that “they found him in the temple courts, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions.” The account continues by telling us that his parents expressed to him their grave concern over him while they anxiously searched. Jesus’ much quoted and much debated response was, “Why were you searching for me? Did you not know that I must be about my Father’s business?” At this point, Luke adds that his parents did not understand what Jesus was saying to them.

Many questions have been raised about the nature of Jesus’ response to his parents in this passage. But taking into account the whole counsel of Scripture which records that Jesus was “tempted in every way, just as we are - yet was without sin” (Heb. 4:15b), it is not worth the time to debate the question of whether or not Jesus was exhibiting some sort of pre-teen rebellion. Of greater import and value are some things which have been obscured by such fruitless arguments as the one to which we have alluded above.

“I Must Be About My Father’s Business”

Jesus had been “about” his earthly father’s business since he was a small child. At this time in his life in which he was moving from childhood to adulthood, it is likely that the Lord was formally apprenticed in the trade of his father, Joseph. In addition, Jesus probably continued in that profession for many years after the time of this account, perhaps even up to the beginning of his ministry at thirty years of age. In his adulthood, Jesus was known not only as “the carpenter’s son” (Matt. 13:55), but also as “the carpenter” (Mk. 6:3).

This is clearly not a rejection of the authority of his earthly parents. Instead, what we have here is the first declaration from the Lord of his understanding of his mature priorities. The heavenly Father’s business comes first. In his statement, Jesus expresses his ownership of the truth he would later reveal was the summation of all the Law and the Prophets (all of Scripture) – “ ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment.” (Matt. 22:37, 38). This mature recognition takes place in the life of our Lord at the logical time developmentally – at the beginning of his maturation from childhood into adulthood.

It is not being argued that Jesus was fully adult at the age of twelve. He did after all go through eighteen more years of preparation before he began his ministry. But according to the traditions of God’s people, Jesus was “of age” and, by God’s design, the period of puberty is the transition from childhood to adulthood. So this was the natural progression of Jesus’ spiritual maturation as a man, and it stands as the ideal for young people in whom the Spirit of Christ dwells.

For those of us seeking to bring up our children in the training and instruction of the Lord, this example from the youth of Christ Jesus raises this compelling question: As our children grow from childhood into adulthood (during puberty), are they experiencing the natural spiritual progression evidenced in the example of their youthful Lord? The answer to this question will of course vary widely from person to person. However, in the Body of Christ as a whole, what do we see taking place?

On the one hand, we find confirmation of this God-designed spiritual development process in the observation that, historically, a vast majority (over 75% by some accounts) of those who make professions of faith do so before the age of eighteen (most of these between the ages of 11 and 14). In addition, research exists that supports the claim that those making professions of faith in childhood or in their youth are significantly more likely to maintain a strong commitment to their faith in adult life. While there is wholesale dismissal of early teens in American culture as rebellious and irresponsible by nature, this is not the picture that is revealed through observation of God’s dealings with young people. Instead, this critical developmental period may be seen as the key time spiritually in the life of a child being raised in the training and instruction of the Lord.

On the other hand, developments in American culture and in the church present some significant challenges. Recent studies reveal trends that indicate that the average age of profession of faith is rising dramatically. An informal observation of the climate among youth in the church might suggest that it is more common for young people to express “ownership” of their faith in their early to middle twenties – if at all - rather than in their early teens as we see in the example of the Lord Jesus. The reasons for these changes may be many and varied, and it is not the purpose of this article to suggest any one in particular. But perhaps we have bought into the developmental psychology of “adolescence” rather than embracing the example of Jesus Christ as a youth. Do we think that believing teens are simply embarked on the great worldly search to discover who they are, or do we believe that this is the time period for them to pursue the Truth of God’s Word and His ways and come to understand, in that light, WHOSE they are?

What difference would it make in our families and in our churches and in the world for the sake of Christ if our young people once again were challenged with the conviction in their early teens that they must be about their Father’s business? The answer to that question can be found in the lives of Joseph, Joshua, Samuel, Josiah, Daniel, Hananiah (Shadrach), Mishael (Meshach), Azariah (Abednego), Mary the mother of our Lord, and countless others throughout history. Most importantly, the life of our Lord Jesus should stand as the ideal example. Our children and young people who have the Spirit of Christ in them must be challenged and encouraged to follow the example of Christ instead of yielding to the spirit of the world, the spirit of the American youth culture. How marvelous it is for them and for us that we have a record of his example not only when he was fully matured and beginning his life of self-sacrificing service, but also when he was young, recognizing mature spiritual priorities, and declaring his understanding that he must be about his Father’s business!

The study of this passage will continue in the next e-pistle entry.

Passover, Spiritual Leadership, and the Gospel

This e-Pistle article is an examination of an important lesson for families revealed in the symbolism of the ancient Jewish Passover feast. 

Passover, the most popular Jewish festival, is celebrated primarily in the home rather than at the synagogue. The feast dates to the time before the establishment of the formal priesthood in Israel and so, instead of a rabbi, the father of the family assumes the role of the “family priest” and presides over the Passover festivities.  

The Jewish family will often spend a lot of time and energy preparing for Passover. Mother and daughters will clean the house and the table linens and take out their best china and silverware. Some wealthy families have dishes and utensils that are used only at Passover. Some even have more than one set of Passover dishes for separate use with “meat” foods and “milk” foods, according to their understanding of Old Testament laws like Deuteronomy 14:21. A lot of care will go into preparing the Passover meal, being sure to use foods that are labeled “kosher for Pesach” (Passover). Jewish families enjoy all of their favorite kosher foods and probably eat more than they should like many American families do at Thanksgiving. Like Thanksgiving, Passover is an historical commemoration of the goodness and blessing of God, and is a memorable family celebration. 

An important part of the Passover preparations is traditionally the father’s responsibility. This involves removing all yeast and yeast products from the home. Yeast, or leaven, symbolizes sin, so this removal of the yeast from the Jewish home is a vital part of the preparations, representing purification. The Apostle Paul makes a spiritual reference to this purification rite in 1 Corinthians 5:7, 8: 

Get rid of the old yeast that you may be a new batch without yeast – as you really are. For Christ, our Passover lamb, has been sacrificed. Therefore, let us keep the Festival, not with the old yeast, the yeast of malice and wickedness, but with bread without yeast, the bread of sincerity and truth.

Yeast products must be removed from every home that celebrates Passover, but in very traditional homes, the father will play a game with his children to accomplish this task. He will hide pieces of bread and cookies and cakes around the house. The children will then be sent on a hunt to “get rid of the old yeast.” When the children discover these yeast products, their purpose is not to eat them or even to touch them. Instead, they call their father who also does not touch the yeast products, but sweeps the crumbs into a wooden spoon with a feather. He then takes these impurities to the fireplace and casts them into the fire. The fire represents the fire on the altar of the Tabernacle and the Temple which consumed the sacrifice in order that men’s sins, placed upon that sacrificed animal, might be purged.

There is wonderful practical value and deep spiritual truth in the traditional game that the father plays with his children. It serves as an object lesson by which the father teaches his children how to be on the alert for and to recognize sin. Here the children are reminded not to try to deal with sin themselves, but to look to their father to help them deal with sin around them and in their lives. The father also illustrates his commitment to keep sin “at arm’s length,” refusing to touch that which represents sin, but dealing with it according to God’s instructions and entrusting to God the ultimate solution for sin. This is certainly a good depiction of the spiritual leadership that God has ordained for the well being of families in which fathers are charged by God to bring their children up “in the training and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4).

More importantly, this tradition reveals the more profound truth of how important it is that we, as God’s children, understand the dangers and the nature of sin and resist trying to deal with it ourselves. Only our heavenly Father can deal with the problem of our sin and the sin all around us, and He has done just that through the sacrificial death and victorious resurrection of His Son, Jesus the Messiah. This little preparatory game of purification really shows us what the Gospel is all about and what the deeper meaning of Passover is all about: the revelation of the Father’s plan of redemption through the sacrifice of His Son, our Savior, Jesus Christ.

Remember Whose You Are: Some Thoughts for Men and Young Men

“Remember whose you are,” my mother would say as I ran out the door. This was regularly the last thing I heard as I left our house to pursue my plans with neighborhood friends or when I was dropped off at school or later, when I would drive off to an athletic practice. As a little boy, I thought that my parents wanted to remind me that I belonged to the Travers family; to make them proud of me. Later, I came to understand that they meant to remind me of a more vital relationship. They were trying to instill in me a recognition that, as a child of God, I am not my own; I have been “bought with a price;” I belong to my heavenly Father.

There is a lot of discussion today about male identity. There are many books, conferences, seminars, even men’s “movements.” Men are being told that they need to be “Promise Keepers” and that they are “Wild at Heart.” Christian sports personalities seek to motivate men with titles like: “The Home Field Advantage,” “4th and Goal,” and “Through the Eyes of a Champion.” In a similar motivational effort, men are likened to soldiers, but told that they are to be “Tender Warrior(s).”

Men are provided with all these great and well-intentioned resources seeking to help them figure out who they are as men. But recently, I have been considering that the daily counsel of my parents might contain a better strategy: “Remember Whose You Are.”

Perhaps we ought not to be seeking to understand and define ourselves first in terms of our gender traits, characteristics, personality, male roles, or ideas about manhood and manliness. Perhaps the most significant way in which to understand ourselves and to be defined as men is in the context of our core relationships. In other words, not “Who am I?” but “Whose am I?”

“Man of God”

I have a friend named Jeff Young who has been greeting me for twenty years with the same phrase. Every time Jeff sees me he says, “Man of God” and shakes my hand. Perhaps without knowing it, his appellation for me is a constant reminder and affirmation of this truth of whose I am. And without exaggerating, I can testify that I have seen Jeff give this same encouragement to hundreds of other boys and men. He has contributed greatly to teaching us all the important truth of Christian manhood. He has reminded us of Whose we are.

Peter Pan Syndrome: Boys Don’t Want to Become Men

In our culture, I think that boys don’t want to become men anymore. When I say that they don’t want to become men, I mean that they don’t desire to be men as God designed them to be. For the most part, they don’t even know what that is. Of course, there is the developmental drive within us to “grow up.” But that is shaped, or should I say, misshapen by the sinful nature and other corrupt and corrupting influences. This results in an incorrect, un-Biblical view of maturity, of manhood and manliness.

In American culture, boys wrongly equate manhood with athletic prowess; sexual conquest; the ability to provide materially (at best) or the accumulation of “toys” (at worst); emotional distance and detachment; self-reliance and self-sufficiency; independence from family obligations; drinking age; the approval/affirmation of others; getting finished with formal education; and career progress/success, to name a few things.

I don’t think that boys alone are to be blamed for these wrong notions. Our culture teaches them these things, and purposely or unwittingly, we also teach them these things. Our educational system sets the stage for it; our sports fixation feeds it; our culture of amusement/entertainment drives it; a society which provides more and more resources that satisfy the desire for instant gratification propels it. And even the culture of the church can contribute to it.

In Family-Based Youth Ministry, Mark DeVries writes, “It might be hoped that churches would stand in the gap and provide an environment in which children and youth could dialogue and collaborate with adults. But sadly enough, for many teenagers, the place they are most segregated from the world of adults is their church. And churches with the more ‘successful’ youth programs seem to particularly exacerbate this problem.” He continues, “Most ‘successful’ youth ministries have their own youth Sunday school, youth missions, youth small groups, youth evangelism teams, youth worship, youth budget, youth interns, youth committees, youth offering, youth Bible studies, youth ‘elders’ (never did understand that one), youth centers, youth choir, youth rooms, youth discipleship programs, youth conferences, youth retreats, youth fundraisers and (my personal favorite) youth ministers.” Looking at it from this point of view, one must consider whether our well-meaning efforts in children’s and youth ministry have sometimes unintentionally served to perpetuate a youth culture within the church rather than providing avenues for young people to develop into mature members of the Body of Christ. If Peter Pan can remain in Neverland, he doesn’t ever have to grow up.

God Designed Us to be Like Himself; God Designed Men to be Fathers and Sons

Is a boy’s/man’s identity to be understood first and foremost as a promise-keeper? As one who is “wild at heart”? As a warrior? Are sports metaphors the best pathway to developing a Biblical understanding of what it means to be a man? I am not saying that these other analogies cannot be meaningful or beneficial. Sports and soldier analogies are even used to some degree by the apostle Paul. What I am suggesting is that there can be potential danger in beginning with man and how we perceive ourselves, as opposed to Biblical revelation that begins with how God has designed us.

As I mentioned before, when I say that boys don’t want to become men, I mean that they don’t want to become men as God designed them to be. God designed us to be like Himself. He said, “Let us make man in our image, in our likeness…” (Gen. 1:26a). Like Himself, God designed humanity to be relational (Gen. 2:18). Made in the image of God, men are designed by God to be fathers and sons (Jn. 17:5). The creation mandate – the first command (Gen. 1:28) – makes this very clear. There can be no fruitfulness or multiplication without men being fathers and sons.

God designed that a man’s identity would be shaped within the context of his relationship to his earthly father and to his heavenly Father.

A boy gains his first insights into manhood – good or bad – in relationship to his father. This has been a healthy part of many cultures historically, and is currently. In most cultures, men are identified by their father’s name. Many surnames still give evidence of the ancient tradition of deriving a surname from the given name of the father: Simon Bar-jonah (Bar- “son of”); McDonald (Mc – “son of”); Johnson (“John’s son”); Ben-Hur (“Son of Hur”). Many cultures have had, and some still maintain, traditional rites of manhood. Gordon Dalbey gives the example of the Nigerian Ibo tribe in which fathers, in a special ritual along with the rest of the tribal men, call their sons out of the hut of their mothers to live in the dwellings of their father as a “son of our people.” This ritual usually takes place during puberty. Jewish boys are welcomed into the community of men at thirteen years of age in the “barmitzva,” meaning “son of the law.” Often boys were expected to “follow in the footsteps” of their fathers in their careers and were apprenticed in their father’s trade. Jesus Himself was known as “the carpenter’s son” and also as “the carpenter."

Of course, in a world that operates under the law of sin and death, this too can be corrupted. Take American culture for example. In his nationally-syndicated column several years ago, George Will cited the statistic that 33% of all children born in the United States are born outside the bonds of marriage. He went on to reveal that the number rises to 69% in the African-American community. Will also stated that “family disintegration, meaning absent fathers, is recognized as the most powerful predictor of most social pathologies” (i.e. criminal activity, addiction, abusive behavior, sexual perversity and abuse, delinquency, etc.). The U.S. boasts the highest divorce rate in the world, according to most accounts, nearing sixty percent. What’s more, George Barna’s research indicates that the divorce rate among “evangelical Christians” is now several percent higher than the surrounding culture.

“Fatherhood Must Be at the Core of the Universe”

In the preface to his anthology of readings from George MacDonald, C. S. Lewis writes, “We have learned from Freud and others about those distortions in character and errors in thought which result from a man’s early conflicts with his father. Far the most important thing we can know about George MacDonald is that his whole life illustrates the opposite process. An almost perfect relationship with his father was the earthly root of all his wisdom. From his own father, he said, he first learned that Fatherhood must be at the core of the universe. He was thus prepared in an unusual way to teach that religion in which the relation of Father and Son is of all relations the most central.”

I have asserted that God designed us to be like Himself, and that He designed men to be fathers and sons. But because of sin, the image of God is marred in mankind, and that corruption negatively affects our relationships and our concept of ourselves as fathers and sons. As a result, all too often in our culture, boys don’t revere their fathers; boys don’t appreciate being sons; boys don’t aspire to be fathers.

Yet, it is within the context of the relationship between God the Father and God the Son that God reveals and fulfills His plan to redeem fallen man (John 14:6, 7a). God has promised to redeem and restore His creation and has begun that work through His Son in His righteous life, sacrificial death, and victorious resurrection. In Christ, God has undertaken the restoration of broken relationships – men’s broken relationships with Himself and with each other – through His redeemed people. This plan is revealed in some strikingly important verses of Scripture where, once again, the relationship between father and child has a central place.

Verses 4 and 5 of Malachi chapter 4 contain the final message from God in the Old Testament: “See, I will send you the prophet Elijah before that great and dreadful day of the Lord comes. He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers; or else I will come and strike the land with a curse.” After four hundred years of silence, the first message from God in the New Testament is found in Luke chapter 1. In this message of God to the future father of John the Baptist, the priest Zechariah, we read: “And he will go on before the Lord, in the spirit and power of Elijah, to turn the hearts of the fathers to their children and the disobedient to the wisdom of the righteous – to make ready a people prepared for the Lord.” Clearly the angel Gabriel was quoting the prophecy of Malachi. Here we see that the turning of fathers and children’s hearts toward one another is a key element in “making ready a people prepared for the Lord” – prepared in anticipation of “that great and dreadful day of the Lord” – a good description of the preparation of the Church for the day when Christ returns as our Judge.

When Lewis said that George MacDonald had learned that “Fatherhood is at the core of the universe,” he meant the Fatherhood of God. But from these important passages of Scripture, we can see the parallel importance of earthly fatherhood in the plans of our heavenly Father. God made us for relationship with Himself and with each other. His design for that “society” begins with the family. The roles within the family for which men are designed are the roles of fathers and sons. In addition to this fundamental design, God has revealed that the familial relationship of fathers (parents) and children has a critical role in His “kingdom” purposes. It is in these foundational relationships and in these foundational purposes that our identity is grounded. The dynamic relationship between God’s design for the earthly family and God’s purposes for the spiritual family of God affirms that the key to “who we are” is “Whose We Are.

Some Summarizing Thoughts for Consideration

It is in relationship to his earthly father that a boy first gains insight into his identity as a man.

It is in relationship to God the Father through God the Son that men come to understand themselves as sons of God.

It is in the turning of the fathers’ hearts to their children and the turning of children’s hearts to their fathers that God makes ready a people prepared for Himself.

A Christian father is a key to establishing the identity of his son as a man and as a child of God.

For a Christian young man, his identity as a man must be grounded in his identity as a son (at least spiritual sonship) and his admiration of fatherhood (at least the Fatherhood of God).