Final Thoughts on Teaching Perseverance to Children & Young People

This e-Pistle post is the twelfth entry in a series and is a continuation of the last four articles.

In 2 Peter 1:5 – 8, Peter lists qualities that characterize spiritual growth. In the past several e-Pistle articles, we have examined the quality that is placed in the middle of Peter’s list: perseverance. Some ideas have been discussed concerning practical strategies for training our children and young people in the development of this quality. Now, let us consider one of the most profound spiritual truths of the believer’s relationship with his heavenly Father. Apart from this truth, none of the strategies we have discussed will be efficacious. 

“How Firm a Foundation”

A bit of mystery surrounds the marvelous old hymn, “How Firm a Foundation.” There is no certainty about the authorship of either the tune or the text. Nonetheless, the hymn has a rich heritage in the hymnology of the Church, appearing in some of the most widely used English and American hymnals for the past 220 years. Presidents Theodore Roosevelt and Woodrow Wilson considered it a favorite. An earlier president, Andrew Jackson, had it sung by his deathbed before he passed away. Robert E. Lee chose it for his funereal hymn. (101 Hymn Stories, by Kenneth W. Osbeck and www.cyberhymnal.org) 

There is, however, no mystery about the inspiration for this great hymn of faith. The message is firmly rooted in the clear teaching of God’s Word. Passages such as Isaiah 41:10 and 43:2; Romans 5:3 – 5 and 8:28; 2 Corinthians 12:9; Hebrews 13:5; and James 1:2 – 4 are God-breathed declarations of the truths the anonymous author articulated so beautifully in the hymn’s poetry. 

Great Biblical themes are communicated in this wonderful old song. Faith in Christ; contentment in all circumstances; courage in the face of difficulty and opposition; the sufficiency of God’s grace; God’s use of trials in the refinement of our faith; the faithfulness of God’s love; and the unfailing grip of God upon the souls of His children are all addressed in the seven known verses of “How Firm a Foundation.”

This hymn was recently chosen by the man who leads music in the Sunday school class in which I was teaching. I, in turn, used it for the singing time of a family fellowship in which my family participates on Sunday evenings. The middle verse of the hymn struck me so strongly that I was unable to hold back tears of wonder and gratitude to God. I felt that it contained an amazing truth. Since then, it has reverberated in my mind, prompting waves of awe and joy in my spirit. As I have contemplated the spiritual growth quality of perseverance for this series of articles, I have come to feel that this verse communicates a pivotal Biblical teaching on the subject – a teaching that is the key that opens the door from simple endurance of suffering to authentic perseverance that leads to greater spiritual maturity.

  When through the deep waters I call thee to go,

  The rivers of woe shall not thee overflow;

  For I will be with thee, thy troubles to bless,

  And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.

We are reminded in the first two lines of this verse that God is intentional about suffering in the life of the believer (Genesis 50:20; Romans 5:3 – 5 and 8:28; James 1:2 – 4 and 12; 1 Peter 1:6, 7), and that He will not permit us to be overtaken by these difficulties (Romans 8:35 – 37; 1 Corinthians 10:13). In fact, we are taught that God actually calls us to go through “deep waters,” echoing the Scriptural truth that this is following in the steps of Christ (1 Peter 2:19 – 21). In the last two lines of the verse, God’s faithful ever-presence with us is affirmed (Isaiah 41:10 and 43:2; Hebrews 13:5), and we are encouraged that God can make a blessing even of our troubles (Romans 8:28; 2 Corinthians 12:9, 10). This last insight sets the stage for the staggering claim made in the final line of the verse.

“And Sanctify to Thee Thy Deepest Distress”

The word, sanctify, conveys two main ideas: “to set apart” and “to make holy.” With this in mind, it is evident that the author of this encouraging hymn concludes, from the teaching of Scriptures like those we have cited in this article, that God sets our “deepest distress” apart in our lives for holy purposes. It is being asserted that suffering and difficulty and heartache, even death (Psalm 116:15), are sacred matters to the believer and to our heavenly Father. What a profound comfort! And what a motivation to perseverance! Surely, were this not the truth, there could be little incentive to respond to suffering in any other way than despair. 

It is the presence of evil and suffering in the world that turns more people away from a belief in God than anything else. No greater questions and doubts about God and His purposes are prompted in the heart of an individual, even a believer, than where such evil and suffering has touched upon his life. As C. S. Lewis put it, “human suffering raises almost intolerable intellectual problems.” On the surface it would seem that confrontation with the reality of suffering in a fallen world is the best means of driving people away from God. And so the devil himself thinks. 

But the deeper reality is this: suffering is a thing of intimacy between God and His child. It is through suffering and hardship that God most completely manifests His power in a believer’s life (2 Corinthians 12:9, 10). As the hymn writer suggests, God weds the believer to his suffering in such a way that the darkest times in life become rites of passage to holiness and are themselves holy articles, indispensable to the true worship of God.

All the effort that might go into training our children in the spiritual quality of perseverance hinges upon our understanding of this truth and our conveyance of that understanding to them. We must believe and know that we are not simply teaching them a fact, but are pointing them to a relationship with their Creator who “works in (them) to will and to act according to his good purpose” (Philippians 2:13). They must not simply respond to hardship with cheerful acceptance and “make the best of it,” but become fully persuaded that such perseverance is the pathway to an intimacy with God and a spiritual growth attainable in no other way.

Certainly, it is the Spirit of God alone who can enlighten the heart with such deep spiritual understanding. But I believe that we Christian parents must faithfully communicate the profound perspective which the author of “How Firm a Foundation” so eloquently articulated. By God’s grace, our children will not yield to doubt and anger or disbelief in God, but implicitly place their trust in Jesus, having heard the message of His heart to them: 

  The soul that on Jesus has leaned for repose,

  I will not, I will not desert to its foes:

  That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,

  I’ll never, no never, no never forsake.

The study of this passage (2 Peter 1:1 – 11) will continue in next month’s e-Pistle article.

Some Thoughts on Teaching Perseverance to Children & Young People: Part Three

This e-Pistle entry is the tenth article in a series begun in the previous nine posts and is a continuation of the last two articles.

Facing Consequences and Learning from Mistakes

As a Bible teacher in a Christian school, I was distressed to see parents frequently seeking to convince school authorities to lessen or dismiss disciplinary measures that had been assigned to their children. I understood. But I did not think it was wise for them to take such a position. Scriptural teaching on discipline (Hebrews 12:11, for example) and on the development of the quality of perseverance (2 Peter 1:6; Romans 5:4; James 1:2 - 4) teaches us that the difficulty or “suffering” endured under discipline is necessary for producing very desirable results.

This is not to say that, in certain circumstances, a parent should not “take up” for his child, particularly if there has clearly been an injustice. At other times, it may be a parent’s best judgment to alter consequences that he has decided upon when, upon further consideration, he deems such punishment to be excessive or precipitous. However, as a general rule, teaching our children to face up to the consequences of their actions is both Biblical and practical.

The acknowledgement of sin is fundamental to true repentance (Psalm 51). Our purpose in discipline is not a simple, forensic justice. The goal of our efforts in disciplining our children must be genuine contrition leading to restoration of right relationships with God and with those against whom they have sinned. The fleshly desire to minimize consequences is inconsistent with the sincere recognition of sinfulness and is contrary to the acceptance of personal responsibility. It encourages the sinner to focus on himself rather than the person whom he has offended. In fact, it leads to a certain kind of legalism. The sinner who remains focused upon the consequences sees sin in terms of broken rules instead of broken relationships. He limits his view to the letter of the law rather than the spirit of it. He sees restitution in terms of recompense rather than restoration.

If we, as Christian parents, are to communicate the Gospel faithfully to our children, we must represent sin correctly. We must help them to understand sin relationally. We must also point them to repentance that is motivated by love rather than allowing themselves to be satisfied with a disingenuous mea culpa that comes from fear or guilt or selfish interest.

When we hold our children accountable for wrongdoing by allowing them to endure the consequences of that sin, we must at the same time teach them the lessons that those consequences represent. If a young person steals a candy bar from a local shop and is caught or is so burdened by his guilt that he feels he must do something to correct his wrong-doing, he may feel that returning or paying for the item is the logical and suitable restitution, along with an apology. His confession and the return of or payment for the item may be appreciated by the shop keeper, but that will not be the end of the story, nor will it be the end of the restitution for the young person’s sin. Stealing the candy bar did not simply break a shoplifting law. The theft also broke trust in relationship to the shop keeper. Though the shopkeeper may be impressed with the youth’s effort to make up for his sin, the truth is that the next time the young person comes into the shop the shopkeeper will be noticing to see if he is trustworthy. And the next time. And the next, and perhaps for a long time. The merchant may want to believe in the young person, but he cannot neglect the fact of the theft, and continued, proven, trustworthiness is the only true restitution for the wrong-doing.

This is the lesson that parents must teach their children about facing up to the consequences of sin. It is also the lesson by which we can help them to develop the quality of perseverance. They need encouragement to endure the suffering of initial consequences, but they also need to be challenged as they persevere in rebuilding trust in relationships they have broken through their sin. It is interesting to note the quality that succeeds perseverance in Peter’s list of spiritual growth qualities (2 Peter 1:6). It is godliness. Likewise, the Apostle Paul says that perseverance produces character (Romans 5:4). What a marvelous conclusion to the scenario we have been considering!

I have often heard people speak about how much they had learned from the mistakes in their lives, and I have wondered about it. First of all, if a person does not face up to the consequences of his actions, or is rescued from the full consequences by a sympathetic but ill-advised parent, what lesson has he really learned? Secondly, if he is not led to understand his sin as that which breaks his relationship with God and others as opposed to simply a matter of rules and regulations, the lesson he learns will produce neither character nor godliness in his life and may do more damage to him spiritually than any other lesson he could learn.

Doing the Right Thing

Another thing I have heard people say is something like the following: “I’m the type of person who just has to learn from making my own mistakes.” While I acknowledge the genuine value of learning from mistakes, I must admit that this has always struck me as somewhat of a cop out or excuse. What the person seems to be saying is: “I am going to do what I want to do in spite of the fact that I know others would advise or have advised against it.” In other words, they essentially know that what they want to do will be a “mistake,” but they cannot overcome the present desire to do it in spite of the future consequences. They are not willing to suffer in resisting an immediate whim or pleasure while risking future suffering that might result from their choice.

It may be oversimplifying, but it has always seemed to me that a person could learn a lot more by doing what they know (or are taught) is right in the first place, rather than doing what they know (or are taught) is wrong and trying to learn from their mistakes. Hebrews 5:14 reads “…solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.” Look again at the order Peter uses when he lists spiritual growth qualities progressing to maturity: “…make every effort to add to your faith goodness: and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love…” (2 Peter 1:5 – 7). This suggests the other proactive strategy for teaching our children perseverance which I mentioned in last month’s article. They need to persevere in doing what is right – even though it may be difficult; even though they may “suffer” for it for a time; even though they have to resist strong immediate impulses to the contrary – because, in the end, they will learn more by doing what is right than by making mistakes and learning from them. They will develop perseverance and that will lead to godliness and character, as Paul wrote. That character produces hope. “And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us” (Romans 5:3 - 5). Do you see the final connection? God’s love poured out into our hearts results in the brotherly kindness and love that Peter portrays as the culmination of our spiritual growth (2 Peter 1:7).

Claiming to have to learn from one’s mistakes is just a ruse to say that one is focused on self and doesn’t really care about the consequences of actions for one’s self or for others. A person who thinks this way does not understand sin correctly. Persevering in doing the right thing in the first place ultimately leads to the fulfillment of the greatest and the second greatest commandments: to love God with all our hearts, minds, and strength, and to love our neighbors as ourselves. A person who learns this will understand sin in the context of relationships, and even when he does make mistakes – commit sins – the lesson he will learn from those mistakes will be part of what restores him to unbroken fellowship with God and right relationships with others.

Our study of 1 Peter 2:5 – 8 will continue in next e-Pistle with “Final Thoughts on Teaching Perseverance to Children and Young People.”

Some Thoughts on Teaching Perseverance to Children & Young People: Part Two

This e-Pistle entry is the tenth article in a series begun in the previous nine posts and is a continuation of last month’s article.

A lot of training that we parents do with our children is reactive, In other words, we observe them doing things or thinking in a way that we do not want, and so we seek to correct and instruct them. This is particularly true in the area of discipline. It is not as natural for us to develop proactive strategies. Yet, developing intelligent foresight, and training our children accordingly, may be among the most effective of parenting skills.

Teaching and encouraging our children and young people to persevere under difficulty seems an exclusively reactive operation. First comes the hardship or suffering; then come our efforts to train them to persevere. But there are a couple of things that I can think of that will potentially put our children in the position of facing hardship, with the goal of providing opportunity for them to practice perseverance. We will deal with one of these ideas at the end of next month’s article. The first is helping them to try new things.

Trying New Things

Some of our children may not need anyone prompting them to take chances. But, at one time or another, in some area or another, all of our children will need encouragement to give something new a try. There is the natural apprehension of the unknown, the fear of failure, the insecurity about one’s capabilities, and the reticence about that which is unfamiliar. Left to themselves, all children will withdraw from undertaking something that would be a good experience for them simply because of the discomfort and difficulty of trying something new.

Parents can look ahead to benefits that children and young people cannot yet comprehend. They can intentionally provide challenges that their children would not choose for themselves. It might be music, art, or sports lessons; trying out for an athletic team; getting involved in drama, speech, or debate; meeting new people; getting involved in a ministry effort; learning a craft or hobby; or spending time with older people. Such challenges will often bring about “suffering.” The child or young person will struggle to be successful in this new endeavor. He will endure the hurt of failing to achieve according to his desires. He may lose out to someone else. He may not perform according to his abilities. He will be presented with the necessity of persevering against adverse circumstances and/or conditions.

The Lord will teach our children lessons in these times that they could learn no other way. Like Paul, they will have the opportunity to learn the vital spiritual truth that God’s grace is sufficient for us, because His strength is best displayed against the backdrop of our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9).

Don’t Quit, and Living with Decisions

A logical follow-up to encouraging our children to try new things is helping them to learn not to give up easily. This seems like the very definition of perseverance. But, there are two particular areas where our children and young people may need some instruction and support in order that they might develop the quality of perseverance.

One tendency that a lot of children have when faced with something they find difficult is the desire to quit. I have observed many parents who have just allowed or actively encouraged their children to give up on something they had begun simply because it became discouraging, frustrating, complicated, or hard for them. This is not only a big mistake, but it is also a waste of a tremendous opportunity. We have already noted the Scriptural teaching that suffering is the catalyst that brings about the development of perseverance. Here, the family is presented with a circumstance where both parents and child may grow in this character quality, because the parents must persevere through the difficulty of watching their child endure something that is hard for him, or not enjoyable, or beyond his ability to really excel. If the parents allow the child to escape from the hardship by quitting, they would be allowing themselves to escape their own hardship. Both parents and child would be quitting. They would not be making “every effort to add…to self-control, perseverance” (2 Peter 1:6).

The other and more positive side of this principle is learning to live with one’s decisions. Not only should we train our children not to be quitters, but we should help them to learn to build positively on choices that they make. In other words, make the best of it.

Sometimes a child wants to quit on something that has to do with a circumstance that someone else – perhaps a parent or teacher – has brought upon him. The desire to quit is somewhat understandable because the child has no “ownership” of the particular thing to which he has been committed through someone else’s decision. When the difficulty, complication, frustration, unpleasantness, or suffering comes as a result of his own choices, the child needs encouragement to persevere because of the commitment he himself has made. Examples might be the choice to pursue learning a particular instrument, or trying out for a team, or agreeing to be a part of a ministry effort. If we are training our children to make decisions, part of that training must include the courage and perseverance to stand by the decisions they have made.

Learning not to quit and learning to live with one’s decisions have far reaching implications on a person’s life. Not only does this help to set patterns of behavior that will shape one’s character for a lifetime, but it is especially important in the most important human commitments for which God has designed us: marriage and parenting. If our children learn to quit and to be slaves to the caprices of their emotions, this will not only keep them from developing perseverance, but it will also prevent them from developing another vitally important quality that is necessary for success in relationships: faithfulness.

We will continue with “Some Thoughts on Teaching Perseverance to Children and Young People” in the next e-Pistle entry. Next e-Pistle points: Facing Consequences, Learning from Your Mistakes, and Doing the Right Thing.

Some Thoughts on Teaching Perseverance to Children & Young People

This e-Pistle entry is the ninth article in a series begun in the previous eight posts and is a continuation of last month’s article on “Perseverance.”

 

Hardship, difficulty, and suffering are frequent companions of every person traveling life’s rough road. For those of us who know God and His Word, the “up side” is that God accomplishes some things in His children through no other means than adversity. The character quality of perseverance is one of those things (2 Peter 1:6; Romans 5:4; James 1:24).

Each one of us has the natural instinct to avoid pain. Parents may have even a stronger instinct to protect their children from hurt and circumstances that can be hurtful. But, if we know the Scriptural truth (Romans 8:28) that God is at work for the good of those who love Him in all things – including difficult and painful things – then we as Christian parents should take advantage of the “teachable moments” that hardship and suffering provide. We should intentionally and strategically seek to disciple our children in the development of the quality of perseverance.

To that end, here are a few thoughts on “perseverance training”:

The Law of Expectations

In educational philosophy, the law of expectations asserts that students generally rise to the level of the expectations of their teachers. Although this may not be objectively measurable, many teachers and parents have found it to be accurate.

It is tempting for a parent to underestimate or otherwise misunderstand a child’s capabilities. We think that their short attention span will not allow them to sit still and quietly, during a church service for example. We think that it is too difficult for them: that it is too much to expect. But a little difficulty is just what is necessary for development to occur. John and Noel Pipër write,

To sit still and be quiet for an hour or two on Sunday is not an excessive expectation for a healthy six-year-old who has been taught to obey his parents. It requires a measure of discipline, but that is precisely what we want to encourage parents to impart to their children in the first five years.

The difficulty, the discipline of self-control provides the opportunity to practice perseverance. If we protect our children from suffering such hardships because our expectations of them are too low, we rob them of the very experiences they need in order to grow developmentally and spiritually.

Learning to Wait

One of the most difficult lessons for children – perhaps for all of us – to learn is to wait. Ours is not a society which encourages the delay of gratification in any way. We want to have what we want to have when we want to have it, and it is a hardship not to get it or to have to wait for it.

Here is another training ground for perseverance. Parents can help their children and young people to pursue the development of this important quality – while also teaching them about contentment – by causing them and encouraging them to wait.

A child or young person often gets his heart set on a toy or something related to a favorite sport or hobby. Parents might train children to persevere through waiting by requiring them to save their own money or to do some work to earn the money, instead of just buying the item for them.

Another strategy is simply not to allow a child to have something at the moment he wants it. The child may temporarily pine very passionately for something like a particular toy. But we have all seen (or perhaps experienced in our own lives) where a child pleads for an item and soon loses interest in it almost immediately after receiving it. Wise parents will evaluate the long-term value of things their children desire and strategically choose what to allow their children to have.

This simple waiting strategy could be used with young people with regard to getting their learner’s permit and driver’s license. As an eighth grade Bible teacher for many years, I observed numerous students for whom getting their permit and license was a consuming focus of their lives. They continually expressed that they “could not wait” to drive. I believe that this worked against the “secret of contentment” (Philippians 4:11) in the lives of many of these young people.

Later, in a church day camp program I directed, some of these same young people worked as counselors sharing the gospel with children. On many occasions over the years, a counselor would come and tell me that he had to miss a day of work because it was his birthday and he had to go get his driver’s license. He had contracted and was being paid to work in ministry for one to six weeks. But, instead of waiting until a week in which he was not scheduled to work, he had to go on the day of his birthday.

The circumstances of some families might require the immediate addition of another driver in order to meet obligations and solve transportation logistics. But many times, this is either an opportunity to train young people to persevere while waiting for something they want, or it is a temptation to feed the “Me-Monster.”

Perhaps the most important “wait training” our children can have is in committing to wait on the Lord to reveal His will for their future marriage.

The interaction between young people of the opposite sex in our culture is commonly driven by attraction and emotion. As a result, relationships that develop are typically motivated by lust, self-interest, personal pleasure, and instant gratification of desires. Few relationships built upon such a poor foundation survive beyond the first signs of waning romantic passions. Nevertheless, our culture teaches and promotes such an approach to social relationships, and the Church has done little to train her children any differently.

In light of the teaching of Scripture and other practical considerations, there is certainly no area in the life of a Christian young person in which he may more meaningfully give evidence of his commitment to God than this one. Learning to resist the caprices of the emotions, the urges of the flesh, and the influences of a corrupt culture are essential to pursuing such undivided devotion to Christ and His kingdom. Believing parents, therefore, must provide guidance and oversight for their children. We must teach them that physical virginity is not God’s sacred standard of purity, but that God’s standard is much higher: God desires heart purity.

Though this topic demands a more comprehensive treatment on its own, a few insights might inform us concerning this most vital “wait training.”

Rev. Richard Crisco, a pastor and former youth minister, has recommended that Christian young people should not expend their energies and attentions in seeking Mr. Right or Miss Right. Instead, he advises that they put their efforts into becoming, by God’s grace, a Mr. or Miss Right. A pithy bit of wisdom to be sure, and it is parents’ responsibility to train their children to do this and to shepherd them in the process.

Such an approach to social relationships would certainly be counter-cultural. Instead of acting on emotions, desires, and attractions, children and young people would learn to wait not just for sex, but to wait to pursue commitment in relationship to the opposite sex until they are ready to seriously consider marriage. Instead of being in a hurry to be a boyfriend or girlfriend to the first person to whom they are attracted, our young people need to want to be husbands and wives to the person God is preparing for them. Instead of yielding to their physical desires to become lovers, they need to aspire to become parents because their heavenly Father is “seeking godly offspring” (Malachi 2:15) – keeping faith with the wife (husband) of their youth (Malachi 2:16) even before they are married.

Now if this seems a bit over-the-top, consider that the recreational dating culture that is prevalent in our society boasts a very poor record in producing lifetime commitment in marriage. Well over half of all marriages in America end in divorce, and statistics have shown recently that the divorce rate in the Church is even a bit higher than in the larger culture. On top of that, other studies have shown that young people who regularly attend church or who attend Christian schools report being sexually active before marriage at fundamentally the same rate as those who lead completely secular lives – to say nothing of the failure to pursue heart purity.

Simple logic demands that we recognize that engaging in a series of relationships which provide a feeling of intimacy without true commitment will not prepare us for a lifetime commitment. In fact, a recent statistical study asserted that the average American has ten serious relationships (that is, having a degree of exclusivity) prior to marriage. In other words, by the time a person makes a “lifetime” commitment, he has already made and broken nine or ten relationships with a significant degree of emotional commitment. A fair question to ask is: Will he have become good at keeping a relationship together, or will he simply have practiced breaking up? The answer to that question is, of course, self-evident.

Will choosing a pathway that is different from our culture be difficult for our children and young people? Yes. Won’t it be hard for them to resist acting on their emotions and attractions? Yes. Isn’t it normal for them to have “crushes”, and doesn’t it subject them to unnatural suffering to be instructed not to act on those romantic attachments? When they are married, they will still have the capacity to be attracted to someone who is not their spouse, but we would all agree that the health of their marriages will be greatly affected by how they manage those attractions and refuse to act upon them or even give them any place. Does it not make sense that they need to learn this same discipline before they are married? In fact, this “suffering” may be the single greatest factor that enables them to persevere in waiting for God’s best, and in keeping purity in their marriages.

We will continue with “Some Thoughts on Teaching Perseverance to Children and Young People” in the next e-Pistle article.

"...And to Self-Control, Perseverance..."

This e-Pistle entry is the eighth article in a series begun in the previous seven posts. Our focus has been upon a list of qualities given in 2 Peter 1:5 – 8, and identified by the Apostle as vital for Christian life and service. In addition to goodness, knowledge, and self-control, the follower of Christ is to develop and exhibit perseverance.

In 2 Peter 1:5 – 8, as Peter lays out a list of qualities he describes as progressing upon one another in the spiritual growth process, “perseverance” follows “self-control”. The Greek noun that Peter used here is hupomone which is translated also as endurance, or patience. This word is related to the verb, hupomeno translated remain, abide, endure, suffer, persevere. Both words are made up of a prefix, hupo meaning “under”, and a form of the root word, meno meaning “to dwell, to remain, to abide”.

Remaining Under

Essentially, the Biblical concept of perseverance means “remaining under”. Almost every Scripture reference of the two Greek words identified above uses the word in the context of teaching on difficulty or suffering. Romans 5:3 states it most directly, “…we know that suffering produces perseverance…” Likewise, James exhorts his readers to rejoice in all kinds of hardships (even temptations) because of the certainty that such “testing” of our faith develops perseverance (James 1:2, 3). Now, when faced with difficulty and suffering, most of us are understandably eager to have it over and done with as soon as possible. Even when we try to have what we might think of as a spiritual perspective, we might say that we would like God to hurry up and teach us what He wants to teach us through the difficulty, and then be done with it. But, it seems that the idea being conveyed through the words we have examined is that perseverance would include the necessity of “remaining under” the difficulty and suffering, and perhaps, even desiring to remain under it. We see this understanding affirmed in James 1:4 where we read, “Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete not lacking anything.” Jesus Himself communicated the same principle when He spoke of enduring or standing firm (hupomeno) “to the end” (Matthew 24:9 – 13; Mark 13:9 – 13).

How to Develop the Quality of Perseverance

Peter makes clear that perseverance is a quality that is necessary to possess in “increasing measure” in order to be effective and productive as a Christian (2 Peter 1:8). Perseverance, then, is certainly desirable. Here is the problem: it is evident from Scripture that one cannot develop perseverance apart from suffering, something which is not particularly desirable. This reminds me of what C. S. Lewis said as he commented on spiritual growth in Mere Christianity, in a chapter he titled, “Counting the Cost”:

When I was a child I often had toothache, and I knew that if I went to my mother she would give me something which would deaden the pain for that night and let me get to sleep. But I did not go to my mother – at least, not till the pain became very bad. And the reason I did not go was this. I did not doubt she would give me the aspirin; but I knew she would also do something else. I knew she would take me to the dentist next morning. I could not get what I wanted out of her without getting something more, which I did not want.

If we want to develop perseverance and to help guide our children to develop this important quality as they grow spiritually, we must recognize that it does not come without a cost. Perseverance is produced by suffering (Romans 5:3); it is developed by the “testing” of our faith (James 1:3). We cannot have the one without the other. The good news here is that the path to developing perseverance is not hidden. It is the pathway that every believer travels in this fallen world. Everyone’s journey is filled with turmoil and trouble and temptation. There is no difficulty in finding suffering to endure. The key to developing perseverance is in having a Biblical perspective on suffering.

This is a difficult notion to contemplate. It is an almost impossible lesson to learn. Yet, it is a Biblical lesson. The Apostle Paul tells us of some of his own suffering which he repeatedly pleaded with the Lord to take away from him. God’s answer was “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.” Paul then went on to assert that he had subsequently learned to “delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.” For, he suggested, it is in human weakness that God’s strength is displayed (2 Corinthians 12:2 – 10). Paul understood the meaning of perseverance; the value of “remaining under”.

In 2 Peter 1:6, perseverance follows self-control in the progression of qualities describing spiritual growth. This makes sense as we understand self-control to be a strategic quality in the struggle each believer has between his new nature and the old, sinful nature (see last month’s e-pistle article). There is suffering involved in dying, and we are called to “put to death” whatever belongs to our earthly nature (Colossians 3:5). As we fight the daily battle with our sinful nature, there is suffering and turmoil involved in yielding our will to the Holy Spirit as He produces the spiritual fruit of self-control in our lives. We must persevere in this effort. We must “remain under” to the end.

Benefits of Perseverance

Our instinct is to recoil from pain, to protect ourselves from suffering. We are even tempted to sin in order to avoid personal difficulty. C. S. Lewis continued in his thoughts about dentists:

I wanted immediate relief from pain: but I could not get it without having my teeth set permanently right. And I knew those dentists; I knew they started fiddling about with all sorts of teeth which had not yet begun to ache. They would not let sleeping dogs lie; if you gave them an inch they took (a mile)… Now, if I may put it that way, Our Lord is like the dentists. If you give Him an inch, He will take (a mile).

In this illustration about dentistry, Lewis suggests something else that Scripture teaches us. While perseverance cannot be developed apart from suffering, it also has far-reaching effects. Paul tells us in Romans 5:4 that perseverance produces character; Peter indicates that the next logical step in spiritual development is Godliness (2 Peter 1:6); and James teaches that the end result of perseverance under suffering is “that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything” (James 1:4).

Any Christian parents looking at these qualities mentioned as benefits of perseverance – character, Godliness, maturity and completeness – would recognize in them some of their greatest desires for their children. They must also acknowledge that Scripture reveals that perseverance under suffering is the teaching tool which leads to these qualities.

Our study of 1 Peter 2:5 – 8 will continue in the next e-Pistle entry with “Some Thoughts on Teaching Perseverance to Children and Young People.”